Disgruntled SID

COMMUNICATION

2007-09-16T18:54:00.001-05:00

It's already about the third week of the college sports season, and one thing already has me somewhat disgruntled, lack of communication betweeen SIDs.

We're all busy, I understand that. But please, please, please have some common courtesy. If you are hosting multiple events on one day and won't be able to get me the tennis, golf or cross country results until a later hour, that's fine, just let me know, so I am not hitting refresh on my email for three hours. If you ask me for a Stat Crew roster, and I send it, I somewhat expect a game file that same day. If we are hosting you and I ask you three times for your roster, please send it. I know its on the website, but a lot of times website rosters are incomplete or wrong, and plus, I dont feel like retyping your Stat Crew roster.

Folks, we are in the communication business, but I feel like the communication is eroding away as more and more veteran SIDs give up the business and the SID positions are full of web site and TAS whizzes who sit behind their computers all day and complain on the SID Board about why Stat Crew can't produce this or that meaningless stat. A lot of the basic communication and common courtesy in this business are gone. Thoughts?

Deceased CoSIDA to Meet at San Diego Workshop

2007-04-11T20:01:00.000-05:00

Deceased CoSIDA to Meet at San Diego Workshop

April 1, 2007

Del Boca Vista, Fla. – Deceased CoSIDA will hold a meeting at the 2007 workshop in San Diego, announced board members at a spirited gathering at the gated community’s third phase recreation room today.

“The current organization just doesn’t reach out to us anymore,” said Morty Hunsacker, part time sports publicist at Coral Cables Community College. “They talk and I don’t hear a thing they're saying,” groused the septuagenarian SID, while adjusting his hearing aid.

The group plans a number of social activities in America’s Finest City. “We will have our annual theme party. This year it will be entitled ‘Balderdash: a tribute to Swing Music’ performed by Tom Foolery and the Curmudgeons. It’s hard for a lot of these gentlemen to meet their deadlines since most use a typewriter. Our dues paying members just like to let off a little steam, or some gas.”

DC hopes to again play a friendly softball match against its younger brethren. “Did you see that box score when we played them last year?” exclaimed Hunsacker. “They had eight guys named 'Anonymous.'”

The group will have a table (next to the restroom near the registration table) seeking new members in San Diego. “It’s a misconception that we only admit dead folks,” Hunsacker said. “We’ll take the poor, tired, and disenfranchised. We even welcome shot clock operators, Libero trackers and permanent job seekers.”

The organization was founded as Dead CoSIDA in the roaring twenties. “Times change,” said Hunsacker. “There were no dames in the business back in the day. Some of the fellas felt the name was not politically correct.”

DC, however, is not just a social off-shoot of a national professional organization. “We believe in community service,” said Hunsacker. “Our members forward 3-percent of their social security checks to the Human Fund. All of us are organ donors. I’m hopeful that one of the young bucks will inherit my heart, because that is what is missing in our business today.”

--DC--

Cough… Cough… I Feel a Slight Touch of Blue Flu Coming On

2007-02-09T04:15:00.000-05:00

Six years on the job, and not one sick day. I am yet to miss a game because of illness. That is not to say I haven’t been sick. I have input basketball games with sweat dripping from my feverish face, aches up and down my body, sinuses set to explode and the kind of sore throat about which they make commercials with really bad actors. And there I was, not caring about the outcome, so long as it was over and I could go to my warm bed, and hopefully get better in six hours of sleep before the 9:00 a.m. meeting.

If I had left at 6:00 p.m. on a day that most would have taken off, no one would have been available to cover the rebounds, assists and blocked shots of the post-finals week non-conference showdown entertaining the tens of ones of fans on hand. The box score wouldn’t have gone on the web, the visiting SID would have been left in an awkward position without a game file or box score, and the papers without a press release to copy and paste into their pages.

The email would have piled up complaining about the misery of an athletic department that can’t post a score the same night as the game in a world in which almost everyone it seems is providing stats live. A new flurry would follow when the stats were not to the liking of fans and coaches on hand who had a better view than me as I tried to pick rebounds and the like from a video in which I couldn’t read the numbers on about three-quarters of the involved jerseys.

Oh, and while I was watching the video the next day, still more emails questioning my competence, intelligence, dedication, would roll in. Yeah, the annoying and insulting repercussions of not being in attendance would have provided a bigger headache than the one afflicting me during the game.

It doesn’t make me a hero. No, it doesn’t even make me special. All of us within the ranks do it, have done it, and will likely continue to do it. If anything, it just makes me an asshole. It makes all of us assholes. If you can’t figure out why without my further elaboration, you are a dumb-ass asshole.

I n this life, I have friends away from sports. On rare occasions, I actually get to see them. I call that fleeting period of my life summer. One of those summer nights, I sat out on my deck with a beat cop and a beer. He, along with several other members of his district, and several more from other districts around this East Coast megalopolis city had all contracted the same illness. Its side effects include a day of golf, fishing, lawn work and time spent with the family. It is brought on by being overworked and underpaid in a thankless but necessary job.

It seems that their inboxes do not fill with complaints when they are stricken with the illness known as blue flu, but when it strikes in the summer, which is sort of “season crossover time” in the world of police, the complaints from the city’s denizens become numerous, overwhelming supervisors, and eroding public confidence in the po-po’s leadership. That heat rolls the shit back uphill, if only for a few days, and somehow parties representing either side meet and work out grievances. Sometimes the flu hits pilots of airlines, and even nurses have been known to contract a similar illness.

So I am left wondering, what would happen if I became violently ill one day, and the SID I had shaken hands with earlier in the week had contracted the illness from me, and he had shaken the hands of two other SIDs that week, who had shaken two or three more hands, and the symptoms all coincidentially manifested themselves on the same Saturday?

What would Sunday’s newspapers look like when there was a Saturday on which no one was healthy enough to send out scores? What would web sites look like if no one was healthy enough post scores? Would people notice the starting lineups not announced, the programs not set out, and the lack of live stats?

What would be the reaction of parents and athletes who were replied to with the simple truth that I and all of my colleagues mysteriously fell ill on the same day, and our supervisors never had the foresight to recognize they have no redundancy in place for a technocratic position? Would they email AD’s? Would they email presidents?

Several of my colleagues and I have had the discussion about the work that would pile up in between, but as a firm believer in postmodern theory, I say if we treat it like a non-day, that is precisely what it becomes. The scores never get posted. The stats never get factored in. The kids who we don’t want to see get screwed get screwed a bit, but once in awhile, when you are being regularly screwed without the decency of dinner first, you have to look out for number one. The truth is, while we don’t want to see them screwed, mommy and daddy, and mommy and daddy’s checkbooks want to see that far less than we do.

God knows they aren’t afraid to pick up a phone or click an email link to get what they want.

Back by Anonymous Demand

2007-01-12T11:03:00.000-05:00

The SID Board did not deliver a death-blow to Disgruntled. It sure did smack it down onto life support though.

I am a big fan of the board and have found it quite useful for things within the profession, but alas, I have found it detrimental to the agenda put forth by we folks here ay disgruntled. While a thread on Statcrew improvements has its value in my life, the only pressing issue that matters to me is left generally undiscussed elsewhere.

Today is January 12. The most recent post on the Work/Life Balance forum was November 21. So while the SID board serves a genuinely good purpose, it seems that it will serve to maintain an untenable status quo. November 21 is proof that Disgruntled is not dead, and it shall remain a forum for the advancement of SIDs who want to see the inside of their homes longer than the time it takes to walk in the front door, up the steps and off to bed.

Staffing in our profession is yet to catch up with our technology. This spring, baseball, softball, lacrosse(s), and tennis will all need to be in Statcrew and to the conference by 11 am following the contest. Me, in a one-man shop, will get it done, and all of the other office business will be taken care of because I am conscientious enough to be sure the I’s are dotted and T’s crossed. Everyone else in my conference will achieve to the same end.

We are our own worst enemies.

We are victims of our own successes. As a group we have pulled resources and are generally helpful to one another, easing the strain a bit. We have always done what has been asked. Like sausage and laws, no one cares to see sports information made, provided the sausage tastes good, the law does not have a deleterious impact, and the assists agree with the parental assessments.

While we cling to the sides of the lifeboat, I wonder how many are going to fall off of the side at the end of this year. I see the fingers of four slipping. Four good ones at that. In the meantime, as we desperately clutch, another technological tidal wave is steaming towards this overburdened craft. It resembles a camera with an Internet cord and headset, all ready to drop as streaming technology is set to become another mainstay of small school sports.

And with our innate tech savvy, and the infamous “other / various duties as assigned by the A.D” conspiring to drop yet more responsibility on our laps, I can’t help but wonder how can we make this better for ourselves. I can’t help but wonder who I will be working alongside at my peer institutions next semester.

It is a point that has been beaten to death on this board: the crux of the issue is not money, it’s help. It’s alleviating the burdens of the one-man 18-30-sport shops. It’s having an intern who can cover a Sunday. It’s having a person who puts their meals on their table in this profession working alongside. It’s having the security to know you can attend a family wedding, funeral, or gathering in the school year without coming back to a mountain of work and in inbox filled with hate-mail because L’l Johnny’s (insert sport here) score wasn’t posted. It’s about having one day a week where the cell phone is off, the email is unchecked, and all of a SIDs thoughts are somewhere outside of the world of collegiate athletics.

And with that, I anonymously and seriously ask CoSIDA, what is being and what has been done in the almost year since the initial CoSIDA post hit this board? I ask my SID brothers and sisters to jump on board here, and let’s discuss the pros and cons of joining our bosses at NACDA, with or without the body of CoSIDA.

Crossover Time

2006-10-26T20:06:00.000-05:00

Ahh yes, its SID's beloved time of year, crossover time. All the fall sports, including football, are wrapping up, basketball (and hockey for those in northern climes) is starting up, not to mention swimming, indoor track and wrestling. Am I the only one that feels there aren't enough hours in a day? I mean, in the next week I have an exhibition basketball game at a Division I school, a big road football game this weekend followed by our home finale next weekend, ice hockey starting up and about 10 other things I can't think of. But does anyone care? No, all I get asked is what we are doing to promote the DI basketball game over and over, when, believe it or not, I have been working on it, just because there hasnt been anything YET in the almighty paper doesnt mean there won't be. Just let me do my job!

Gruntled Killed the Disgruntled Stars?

2006-08-15T21:12:00.000-05:00

Is the D-SID Board dead? Very few posts, even fewer new threads by bloggers in recent months. One would think this would be the time to vent...

Well, the SID field is in good shape if SIDs want a positive place to post. The SID board is booming and the malcontents are slithering into the high grass.

Me thinks we need 'em both--just like the cheques and balances of the legislative, executive and judicial branch.

D-SID RIP?

Non-anonymous SID Discussion

2006-08-08T09:34:00.000-05:00

There have been quite a few comments made regarding anonymous posting, mostly negative. As much as I think blogging anonymously can be fun, refreshing and even informative, I do see the benefit in having certain discussions among identified individuals.

As Bruce Schneier said in column titled Anonymity Won't Kill the Internet, "The problem isn't anonymity; it's accountability. If someone isn't accountable, then knowing his name doesn't help. If you have someone who is completely anonymous, yet just as completely accountable, then -- heck, just call him Fred."

If you feel you - and those you talk with - can only be accountable if you know whom you are talking to, then a forum, which discloses everyone’s identity, is the place for you.

Thanks to Mr. Ticknor, he has created such a place. He posted about it in another thread, but I didn't want it getting hidden. As I post this, there have already been 88 SIDs to register on his forum in a little under five days.

[...] I was wondering if anyone out there might be interested in joining a moderated, private (only registered users may read and write posts; users must register with a .edu or other non-anonymous e-mail address) discussion board for SIDs.

I've got no problem with this blog and understand the desire for anonymity when it comes to some hot-button issues.

The discussion board I have in mind is more about just the dry, every-day aspects of the profession (a place for shop talk if you will).

I've actually already set up the board on a free discussion board hosting site and was debating whether or not actually running with it. If I can get some interest from the readers of this blog, I'll spread the word on a larger scale. If it becomes popular, I'll be looking for some volunteer moderators as well. If it flops, it flops.

Here's the link. The terms of use/rules forum is open to be read by unregistered users.

http://sid.s10.forumsplace.com

Phil Ticknor
Sports Information Director
Washington College

SID Profession Case Studies

2006-08-07T20:59:00.000-05:00

OK, time for a new thread before the nerd SIDs start slashing the boozing athletic communicators with their pocket protectors. So perhaps YC talk will be history, for a while anyway. It just would not be right for that thread to be the most popular in Dis-SID history...

At times we all yearn for greener pastures, but then again we are grateful for our jobs in athletics and communications. The idea for this new topic is to offer examples of certain individuals’ (whose names will be changed to protect the employed) experiences in the profession.

While the blog gets bashed for anonymity, I really think we can see how the other half lives and maybe get some clarity with this scholarly case study. So let’s offer some case studies—you or friends who have worked or are working in the field—on their quality of life, etc.

Let me present to you Ziggy Semicolon. He worked at a lower level NCAA DI institution. Zig brought stability to a shop that had seen a lot of turnover. Yet you know the drill: he was over-worked, underpaid, and needed more help that the one GA. He burnt out after a few years.

Mr. Semicolon applied for a got a job at a smaller school in the public information office. He makes about the same money, is not the head of the department, and works 9 to 5. With a young family the change seems to suit him.

It should be noted, however, that Mr. Semicolon is NOT a sports junkie. It was easier for him than for perhaps most of us to leave sports information. In summary, Ziggy seems to have made the right choice for him and family.

What about your very unscientific case studies?

Let’s talk YOUNG cosida

2006-07-30T17:26:00.000-05:00

If you’ve been to a CoSIDA workshop the past few years, you’ve probably heard of Young CoSIDA. It’s a group of SIDs who like to party. They like to wear their logo on their badge obscuring our beautiful CoSIDA laptop logo.

Most people probably remember such cliques in high school. Not surprisingly YC had a theme party “high school prom” in Nashville earlier this month. Like most of the 800 workshop attendees, I did not get invited. (I did not sit in my hotel room and weep.)

Apparently YC folks were dressed up like the Village People*, or something. (*Village People are known to be flamboyant and perhaps live alternative lifestyles. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. As a card carrying member of CoSIDA, I believe in inclusion of all races, creeds, colors and sexual preferences.)

So are these athletic communications professionals locked in teenage envy? Or, maybe they wanted to re-live fraternity and sorority life in their adult years?

Who knows, but when you wear a “hipper than thou” emblem on your chest at a workshop, you seem to be saying that you are better than the rest. If you are “Young CoSIDA,” is everybody else is the dreaded “Old CoSIDA” in your eyes?

I don’t care if a group wants to go out on the town. Many of us have a good social life during the workshop—and that’s not a bad thing. In fact, most of us hang with the people we know and work with.

The last thing we need in our profession, however, is exclusion and that seems to be a big part of what YC is about. A colleague of mine went to a YC gathering in Philadelphia. He said the focus was on the few movers and shakers and the rest were supposed to watch in awe.

Most importantly, I hope the powers at CoSIDA do not allow anyone who disses the organization by desecrating the CoSIDA badge into official functions—lunches, brunches, table topics--in San Diego next year.

And be careful, we wouldn’t want to see Young CoSIDA folk engaging in Tom Foolery appearing on Facebook.

The Town Hall

2006-07-27T22:25:00.000-05:00

The Disgrunted SID blog came up at the Town Hall during the CoSIDA workshop. In all, there was some very good banter going on about the blog, and other topics.

Some folks called on Disgruntled SID bloggers to come forward. Much like some of the anti-blog posts, there was hostility and a threatening nature in the air. A few voiced opinions, but the tension in the room likely prevented others from speaking freely.

Some believe that blogging is cowardly, because most posters use handles.

I would counter that blogging is not going anywhere. Also that it's ironic that SIDS--folks who work in and with media--might endorse suppressing opinions.

What else should've been said at the Town Hall? How about that the anti-bloggers need to lighten up. Read some of those past posts again and you'll see some tongue-in-cheek rants--some of which are funny and well written.

Remember that Disgruntled SID bloggers were not advocating "violent overthrow of CoSIDA."

I'm guessing that most who are in this business enjoy 98-percent of our busy, demanding jobs. It should be OK to take a few moments to vent about what's right, or wrong, about the profession.

Last question: Is today’s anti-blogger yesterday’s book-burner?

Don Hansen's All-Joke team

2006-07-24T15:43:00.000-05:00

My football program recently had four players named to Don Hansen's Football Gazette preseason All-American team. However, I am not promoting this accomplishment, if it can be called that. After all, this team is a joke.

This All-American team includes nearly 300 players. Think for a second about what that means. Hansen could name the entire Mount Union roster and not get to 300 players. There is no way there should be 12 All-American punters or 21 All-American quarterbacks.

It seems fairly certain to me that this is a blatant attempt to get as many schools as possible (Maranatha Baptist Bible?) represented on the All-American team so that we will send out press releases promoting his little weekly pamphlet. I, for one, refuse, and so should you. This is the dumbing down of All-American honors and cheapens every honor everyone else with your program has ever gotten and ever will get.

For a while, Don was putting out reasonable All-American teams. But it's obvious those days are over. All of his All-Americans can now be lumped in with the USA Football All-American teams of the mid-1990s -- jokes, all of them.

It would be nice if we SIDs could bring back the team we used to put together. We must make it a priority to find a sponsor for that team again.

Who are we promoting?

2006-06-27T02:42:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while I wonder about the answer to that question, mostly when I read ridiculous press releases. Sometimes it's the story that a school finished 135th in Division III in football attendance. Or perhaps it's when the season preview talks about a quarterback that dominated the league ... en route to throwing more interceptions than touchdowns and completing fewer than 50% of his passes. (And no, it's not because he was a brilliant option quarterback.)

But sometimes a release surpasses all bounds of propriety. That's what this one does. I've removed the name details to protect the guilty, but I'm not sure why. As a former SID, it makes my blood boil. I wouldn't have written a 1,000-word release on my resignation, not even for my memoirs.

[REMOVED] College Sports Information Director and Assistant Athletic Director for Communications & External Affairs [REMOVED] will retire effective August 4.
The longest tenured Assistant Athletic Director in school history, he was named Sports Information Director in July 2000 overseeing the publicity, promotion and marketing of the College's XX-sport department of athletics. In July 2001, he added responsibilities as Assistant Director of Athletics taking on responsibilities for the Athletic Hall of Fame, game management, men's basketball tournament scheduling and other duties.
"I have enjoyed the opportunity to assist with and publicize the achievements of the student-athletes and coaches at [REMOVED]," [REMOVED]said. "However, I must be ethically true to myself and there are personal goals and objectives which I have set for myself which will not allow me to continue at the College."
"There are many people to thank. My sports information mentor [REMOVED], the coaching staff, the student-athletes, Associate Athletic Directors [REMOVED], [REMOVED] Director of Communications [REMOVED] and former athletic director [REMOVED], who had the foresight and faith to hire me in 2000 and provide me with an incredible opportunity."
"Every administrator and sports information director knows that they are only as good as the staff around them, and I was blessed to have some of the best and the brightest grace my office. So I would be remiss if I didn't thank my staff, current and past assistants and student-workers, in particular [REMOVED], [REMOVED] and [REMOVED].
"During my tenure at the College, it was a pleasure to work with my staff in returning the sports information office and the College to a place of prominence in the local, regional and national markets."
Ranked third in publicity among [REMOVED], [REMOVED] and [REMOVED] when [REMOVED] took over the sports information office, the College rose to first place by the end of the 2000-2001 academic year, doubling the combined media coverage garnered by [REMOVED] and [REMOVED].
During the 2005-06 academic year, [REMOVED]'s Sports Information Office held an 18-to-1 advantage over both [REMOVED] and [REMOVED], in addition to comprising over 85% of the College's local, regional and national media coverage, including extensive coverage of [REMOVED].

"Few people can say that they were a witness to history during the course of their jobs," [REMOVED]noted, "but I had the opportunity to promote 11 [REMOVED] Conference championships ([REMOVED]; [REMOVED]; [REMOVED]; [REMOVED], [REMOVED], [REMOVED], [REMOVED]; [REMOVED], [REMOVED], [REMOVED]; [REMOVED]), eight Eastern College Athletic Conference championships ([REMOVED], [REMOVED], [REMOVED]; [REMOVED], [REMOVED]; [REMOVED]; [REMOVED], [REMOVED]), NCAA team appearances ([REMOVED]; [REMOVED]; [REMOVED]; [REMOVED]; [REMOVED], [REMOVED]), [REMOVED] win in 2004 to become the [REMOVED], [REMOVED] NCAA titles in the [REMOVED] and the [REMOVED] game in [REMOVED] history in 2003."

"The perk and goal of his job has always been garnering recognition the student-athletes deserve. It has been an honor and privilege to publicize their competitions, nominate them for awards and share in their achievements."
From 2001-2006, the College earned a school record 50+ All-America honors, a school record six NCAA Postgraduate scholarships and nine CoSIDA/ESPN the Magazine Academic All-America honors.
"In 2001, we coined the phrase 'excellence on and off the field' in the sports information office to encompass our mission, and I held equal pride in helping athletes earn academic honors and All-America recognition."
"I am especially proud of nominating the Posgraduate Scholars and the Academic All-America honorees as the College garnered its first Academic All-America honors in men's soccer ([REMOVED]) and baseball ([REMOVED]). There was no greater pleasure in the job than to tell an athlete they earned Academic All-America or Postgraduate honors."
Historically, the six postgraduate scholarships from 2001 to 2006 comprise nearly half of the College's 13 honors as [REMOVED] earned seven from 1969 through 2000.
The quantity and quality of the sports publications- media guides, game programs and website - improved to among the best in Division III as the Sports Information Office oversaw three redesigns of the recruiting publications and two overhauls of the athletics website. On [REMOVED], the College's newest athletics website [REMOVED].com will officially be [REMOVED].

In terms of publications, the [REMOVED] Football Media Guide expanded from a photocopied book in 2000 to a more contemporary glossy color publication in 2002. The [REMOVED] received the College's first College Sports Information Directors (CoSIDA) Publication award in 2004, while the book's cover was judged "Best in the Nation" from among over 100 submissions from NAIA and NCAA Divisions I, II and III by a panel of national experts.
Further, [REMOVED] negotiated a contract with [REMOVED] in the fall of 2005 as [REMOVED] became the fourth Division III institution in the nation with a [REMOVED] website with the launching of [REMOVED].

Named the College's "All-Time Sports Information Director" during the [REMOVED] at the College in 2004, he oversaw the celebration. Further, he was also the major impetus behind the 75th anniversary celebration in [REMOVED] (2005), the 50th anniversary celebrations in [REMOVED] (2006) and [REMOVED] (2005), the 25th anniversary celebration in [REMOVED] (2005), the All-Time Teams in [REMOVED] (2004), [REMOVED] (2004) and [REMOVED] (2006) and the All-Decade Teams in [REMOVED] (2004) and [REMOVED] (2004).
Further, he compiled the first list of letterwinners in [REMOVED] history in football, men's basketball, women's basketball, men's lacrosse, women's tennis, softball, men's soccer, women's soccer, men's swimming and women's swimming, and conducted extensive research for every sport in the College's history.
A national search for [REMOVED] successor will begin on July 1.

Gosh. What big shoe... make that, what a big hat to fill.

Office Space...

2006-06-05T15:25:00.000-05:00

"I did nothing, and it was everything I thought it would be."

I bagged work on Friday. Not really to do anything as much as to not do a damn thing. Wasn’t so much planned either. I rolled out of bed, put the dog outside, saw the rain and thought the last place I needed to be was in the car, in the rain, and on my way to work. So when the dog came in, I went straight down to the basement, turned on SportsCenter and drifted right back to sleep.

Around 11, I woke up and debated checking my email and phone messages. Around 11:01, I thought the better of it. Went up, got a now burnt cup of coffee, put the dog out again and noticed the sun coming out. Around 11:15 I debated cutting the grass. Around 11:16, I thought the better of it.

Back to the couch a little world cup preview. 20 minutes of that, and back to the zzz’s. As I dozed off, I thought, “I think I am going to skip a lot of work once the copa del mondo gets underway.”

Around 4:00 p.m. or shortly thereafter, the dog decided to wake me up for our day’s exercise. The sun was out, clouds were on the horizon though. That squelched the brief second of guilt I felt about having the third longest lawn on the street. Ran with the dog for a bit. A bit is about all I can run nowadays. Came home flipped on Wolf Blitzer. He always makes me sleep.

6:15 the wife woke me up. Actually, the dog flipping out that her car was in the driveway woke me up. I showered, we went out, got some beers and wings at a local haunt and watched the Yankees whip the Orioles and Pittsburgh's rain delay filler at the same time - those old Willie Stargell era collars kick ass.

I thought about work twice during the workday. Both instances were fleeting.

I rolled in at 2:00 on this beautiful Monday, cause the damn grass still hadn’t cut itself. Seeing the fresh cut and listening to the birds chirp gave me the idea to play golf this week, so I have calendared two dates. Playing 9 on Wednesday, 18 on Thursday.

“Hey Peter, looks like you have been missing a lot of work lately.”

“I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it Bob.”

How’s everyone else doing in their quiet time?

Taking the Student out of Student Athlete

2006-03-27T10:46:00.000-05:00

I love language. I studied language as an undergrad, and I find it fascinating the way it evolves. It likely stems from growing up with George Carlin on HBO – his rants on air travel and other euphemisms still kill me. My first communications professor I encountered as an undergrad stressed that effective, meaningful communication was concise communication.

And then he elaborated over the next 59 minutes.

Amongst his elaborative diatribes was the notion that extra words that do not further the message, almost always result in confusion, having the direct opposite impact the message was intended to send.

In honor of this professor, I’ll cut to the chase. Can we remove "student" from student-athlete? We are dealing with college sports, so they must be students, right?

Adding the word "student" may help some institutions assuage the feelings of guilt they have about passing students through their system who otherwise would not make it if they were not athletes, but at an institution such as the one that signs my check, I am fully confident that most of our athletes are students first. Those who aren’t weed themselves out rather quickly.

Many of them who do perform poorly in the classroom do so because they are student-Greeks, or more often than not, Greek-Students. That they are sometimes also athletes generally reflects more poorly on athletics than it does on the inter-Greek Council.

May my former professor excuse my digression.

Our drama students aren’t student-thespians. Our insect club does not consider its membership student-entomologists.

Putting the word student before the word athlete does little more than draw attention to the fact that at certain places at certain times, athletes were athletes, and not necessarily students. If this is still occurring, placing the word student beforehand is not going to solve the problem. Removing it from the phrase does not remove the kid from class, just as adding the word does not put a butt in a seat.

Other language I could do without:
First-Year Student: Freshmen and women (womyn), get over it. I want to hurl every time I come across a roster on the web with FY.

Not sports related but bugging me this morning nonetheless:
Person of Interest – Our current Administration has done more to harm language…. Sorry, different rant. This phrase was coined for the still unresolved anthrax attacks and its suspect, Steven Hatfill. Now every news channel uses it for the suspect in every case of a person who disappears. Let’s make this easier on everyone, there are suspects, victims, and sometimes witnesses.

In my world, a person of interest is generally a fan, sportswriter, or parent following one of our teams. I usually refer to them as fan, sportswriter, or parent, often substituting the word jerk for the first and third, and on occasion, the second.

There are many more, but putting them all out there would remove your incentive to share your own. What else should we eliminate SIDs? Let’s GIT-R-DUN.

The Head Coach From Hell

2006-03-22T17:05:00.000-05:00

How many other people have had to deal with coaches that are literally impossible to deal with and can't be described as anything other than a Head Coach from Hell? I'm not talking about coaches that are somewhat difficult to deal with or take some work and adjustment to deal with. I'm talking about a coach that is downright impossible to deal with.

I have one coach that I literally can't stand to be around and try to communicate only by email if need be. I only speak to them if it is at all necessary. I know that this is pretty unprofessional, but if you had to deal with this coach, you would be forced to be unprofessional too.

This coach had lied directly to my face on numerous occasions. They have also lied about me to other coaches. And not just the little white lies that some coaches tell like "this player is leading the conference in this category" when the they are actually fourth or "this player is averaging this" when it is really a lot less. This is about things I was alleged to have said, but didn't. This was about things that I was present and heard this coach say, but they later denied.

They have constantly undercut me with the media by refusing to make players available for interviews. When they do make players available, the head coach must be present. They have chewed me out for not getting interviews and publicity for more players and think that they should be consulted for the topic of the post game wrap up story.

They can't understand that an interview of a player by a hometown player's media members is a legitimate story even if that player may have a bad game. They think that only players having a good game should be the focus of any and all stories.

This coaching staff has never given me the name of any recruit that they've signed. The only way I find out is when our compliance coordinator sends out the official NLI signing notice. So, they don't communicate with me about anything. But, get upset when they think I don't get something to them in what they consider a timely manner.

This coaching staff constantly is losing information that I give them and accuses me of not getting it to them.

It has gotten so bad that I am refusing to ever travel with this team again with the exception of going to the coference tournament. I am glad that our AD doesn't care whether we travel or not and leaves it up to us in the sports information department and each coach.

This sport's season used to be my favorite time of the year. But now, I dread when it is coming around and starting and look forward to the end of the season.

The Rigors and Cure for Base-ketball Season

2006-03-07T23:00:00.000-05:00

To most of the folks in the real world (that blurry place that exists off campus), Baseketball was just one of many goofy, easily forgettable movies. To those of us who breathe in the air on planet SID, it’s a real season, and we’re in the midst of it.

Some of us call it swretlaxtennis season, at other institutions it’s known as basketindoorsoftballgolf season. It’s kind of like that indefinable last few seconds between the last waking moment and first minute of sleep. It’s a punch drunk wooziness resulting from a football and basketball season that has raced by leaving the inevitable hangover that is spring in its wake. There is no amount of 4 a.m. Denny’s grease it seems, to sop up the metaphorical booze.

The tank is running low, the tires are running bald, but the finish line is in sight. The energy to post anything more eludes me.

The only cure for this hangover bordering on coma I can think of is found in a bag of clubs on a warm spring day, sans cell phone, email or any means of impersonal interpersonal communication. No mass communicating either. No communicating anything that doesn’t involve me lying about how many shots (golf or Jameson) proceeded my current, or isn’t otherwise related to the current journey around the circuit of silent relief.

Yup, that's really all I've got. I'm beat tired my SID bretheren and sistern. Beat tired.

Unreasonable Expectations

2006-02-15T19:38:00.000-05:00

For those of you who didn't read my rant, it got me thinking that we need a new topic devoted solely to this topic.

We have numerous expectation in this field. Some are pefectly reasonable; some, however, are not.

Examples of things that I consider reasonable:
1. Providing accurate stats for both teams at all home events.
--Perfectly fine with me; I'll do that. It's expected. I love doing it. I think I'm unbiased in my statkeeping.
2. Providing media with updates.
--Ask me to send you a head shot? Sure. Stats when you arrive for a basketball game? There. In-game updates for radio broadcasts? Printed. Tip to the local paper that we're hiring a new coach/a local star is committed/my senior guard will score 1,000 points at tomorrow night's home game? I can do that.
3. Photos/previews for some national publication (lacrosse or wrestling are the biggest ones for these).
--Yeah, I can do that. I'll send you my coach's mug; I'll send you my preview; I can even send you the career stat line that StatCrew so easily generates.
4. Monthly staff meeting.
--O.K., granted I usually have about five minutes of time to say anything I have to say and the majority of the other hour and a half has nothing to do with me and I could definitely be doing something more productive. But, alright, I'll be there. I'll be a team player.
5. Provide content for my alumni magazine.
--Sure, I can find time to get you two pages of content four times a year. Even if your deadlines don't coincide with the end of the sports seasons. I'll get you something and a few photos.

However, there are many unreasonable expectations I get almost every day. Let's start with the NCAA.

--How can you possibly send me an email on February 15 requesting that I have ready - in case we make the tournament - some digital video ready to send to you for your championship banquet. Shouldn't have this been a request sent out back in, oh, I don't know, say, OCTOBER when we were all getting ready for basketball. Not when there's one week remaining in the season nor do I have the resources to get you DIGITAL VIDEO on that short of notice. Seriously, get a grip on reality. We're not D1 with big TV contracts here.

Moving right along to what got me in this mindset - travel.

--Am I really expected to go to every road game any of my teams play in. Besides the fact that would be impossible, since I can't be in two places at once, I can write just as well from my home or my office 15 minutes after the game and have the story to my media and on my website within an hour of the game. If I'm on the road, there is a 99% chance I'm not going to be able to access my webserver. Heck, there's a 50% chance I can't get to my email. If you're telling me that you don't mind waiting two, three, four hours for our website to be updated. OK, I'll travel, but I guess that would also mean you're giving me an unlimited travel budget. I mean, after all, I'm not paying for all of my food and gas out of my pocket. Does that make me a bad SID? I don't think so. Any other working person (which, by the way, is what we are doing when we travel) gets reimbursed for business conducted on the road - food, mileage, etc. True, I can ride the bus and not have to pay mileage. Which, I have done. But, I've also learned, some teams don't want to wait 15 extra minutes for me to write and send my story. Now, if it's a 4:00 game, yes, I'll write and the bus and hit send when I get back. That's logical. But, basketball, we're all on deadline. If I'm at an 8:00 game, I can't wait until I get back to hit send. Logically, if I'm on the bus, some coaches appreciate the travel enough to take my meal out of their travel budget, which I am grateful for. But, that's not always the case. Plus, sometimes, my teams travel in vans. If I'm going to ride in a van, I might as well just take my car. And, sometimes, I just like the freedom of being able to get there a little after the team does and leave after they do (because I have to write) and be able to eat where I want. Plus, on Saturdays I don't want to have to drive to the office to leave when I can just leave from my house. Which, is actually more important coming home.

In that light, are we expected to do stats at home and on the road?

--Personally, I have learned to trust the professionalism of my colleagues. I have to. They haven't perfected cloning yet. If I'm not on a road trip, I leave the stats in the trusting hands of my fellow SIDs - just as they do when they do not travel to my place. I have yet to have a home SID ask for my opinion on every play, and I have yet to do it for any SID who I am a host to. I call that part of professional courtesy. We have to all the courtesy to trust our fellow professionals to be accurate in the recording of the stats. After all, that's the most visible part of our job. And, those go do as history. They need to be accurate. Coaches are going to disagree. I think it's in their job descriptions because they complain when I do stats, knowing full-well I will not change it. Heck, sometimes I disagree with a hit/error ruling or the assist-to-field goal ratio (or turnover-to-steal ratio) on a basketball box score. Do I complain? Rarely--at least not openly. I leave it to that SID's interpretation. So many stats are open to interpretation. See assists. It's always been understood, in writing in some cases, that "the home book's official". I will give you the typical Monday-morning quarterbacking that occurs with football. For those DII/DIII SIDs, does a Monday morning roll around that either your coach (or the opposing SID on behalf of his coach) hasn't called to make a change to the defensive stats. And, after six hours of breaking down tape all day Sunday, I would expect them to go over every tackle and sack with a fine-tooth comb. They know best if it was a running play or passing play. I don't mind if you want to change a sack to a TFL because he was running (or visa-versa). After all, we're all after accuracy; are we not?

I'm sure there's unrealistic expections that everyone deals with day in and day out. I'm sure some have it a lot worse off than I do. I'm fortunate. I work with a great staff. I have great SIDs in my conference. But I still have those unreasonable expectations. We all do. Let's hear about yours...

For Love of the Game

2006-02-14T09:42:00.000-05:00

Since we haven't had a new post in a while and since Sid Vicious brought up some pretty salient points in a lengthy comment on the last topic, I figured I'd turn some of those points into a new topic.

If we didn't have a love for what we do and/or a love for our student-athletes, we wouldn't care. We'd have left the profession soon after we got into it or we would stop trying, throw up our hands, and let the chips fall where they may. Those posters who are former SIDs obviously still care about the business or they wouldn't bother piping in.

Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the "me" reasons why I shouldn't go a month or more without a day off, why I shouldn't work 60-70 hours a week, why there are certain things that shouldn't be my responsibility. They are all very valid reasons and represent an impetus for change in and of themselves, but they aren't the only reasons why we must push for serious reform.

I made an impassioned plea for an intern last February (a plea which was thankfully answered), writing a rather lengthy proposal detailing how the profession has rapidly changed over the last decade or so (Stat Crew, web sites, etc.), my working situation, etc. What I also made clear, however, was how having just one Sports Information employee was a disservice to athletics. What if I was incapacitated or had a family emergency? There was no one at this school who had web editing, publication, sports writing, AND Stat Crew experience and who would have the time to fill in. Furthermore, I readily admitted that the quality of my work was suffering because of the quantity of my work. (When it's 10:00 p.m. on a Saturday and you're on game release number eight for the day, your work tends to slip.) There were also a lot of things I wanted to do that we couldn't do with just one person and there were times when I felt certain sports would get thrown under the bus during our busiest times of the year.

I'm thrilled to have an intern. I pretty much limit him to 40 hours per week as required by law and made sure he was getting a stipend that put him above minimum wage (our coaches are currently in a pickle because our school has finally decided they need to enforce the "GA's aren't supposed to work 60 hours a week" rule). In all honesty, however, we now have two people doing in athletics what four or five people would do in our college's communications office. I'm not asking for a staff of three or four people tomorrow, but, with how much work my office does and how much of an impact it has (our web site gets 800-2,000 unique visitors per day), I honestly think I am worth 50% more in salary and that there should be at least one other full-time staff member and an intern in my office. More immediately, however, I think any school with at more than 10 total sports or more than four sports in one season should have at least one full-time staff member and one intern-level staff member.

We love our jobs and care about our athletic departments and that's one of the reasons why we know that change needs to occur.

Let's Talk About CoSIDA

2006-02-01T16:24:00.000-05:00

Let’s talk about CoSIDA.

Is the 400-pound gorilla in the room our professional organization?

I know what I have done for CoSIDA. I initially paid my dues in order to nominate athletes. Because of the ingrained SID character flaw, I ended up taking on additional duties as if there isn’t enough to do around here. I serve on what I believe to be one of the more critical and difficult committees. I attended most of the convention in Philly. I uphold the Code of Ethics and read my magazine.

What has CoSIDA done for me?

I’ve filled out the survey. The results were about what I expected. My world went unchanged.

Why doesn’t our professional organization advocate on our behalf?

Hell, we dedicate our lives to advocating for others. A group of professional advocators should know how to do it on their own behalf.

Why are we DIII SID types relegated to an anonymous blog to have our voices heard?

I suppose the culture of the old guard is partly responsible. I hate listening to the old SIDs who brag about how much they have to do as if being overworked is an honor instead of unfortunate….

“My lacrosse and softball teams play at home today, and both of my basketball teams are in the NCAA Tournament tonight including one at home. I have five swimmers, three wrestlers, and two track athletes getting ready for nationals. My baseball and women’s lacrosse team are on the road and my only student worker was sneezed on by a sick chicken last week and he called in this morning saying something about having a bloody cough. I got here at 3:40 this morning, and I should be out by 3:40 tomorrow morning,” says Old SID A proud of how much he can handle.

“Yeah, I’ve got all of that, plus four gymnasts and two ice hockey teams still playng. Plus, my #1 singles tennis player got arrested for selling crack to an undercover police officer in front of a TV camera that was here doing a story on our drug free campus,” replies Old SID B in a stupid game of one-upsmanship that I have heard far too often.

To have that conversation in any manner than one person COMPLAINING to another should be criminal. What psychological pathology makes someone think that if they spend a minute not working, they are a better SID?

Its kind of like that old SNL skit where Billy Crystal is talking about drilling a hole in his toe and filling it with rubbing alcohol. I hate when that happens. But these guys are f#*king serious.

I am taking things the other way.

My IM away messages now say things like:

Playing golf.
Spending time with my wife.
Letting my dog sniff my hand to see if he still remembers me.

I just don’t get to use any of them nearly enough. Let’s brag about the fact that we are working diligently to find ways to make having this job and having a personal life are not mutually exclusive concepts.

Why is their no CoSIDA Committee on best labor practices? Why aren’t guidelines being drawn as a baseline for a sport to SID ratio? For a sport to pay ratio? For competition blackout days Why isn’t this non-existent committee preparing a campaign to educate AD’s, HR personnel, and others up the food chain about the role we play? About limiting the scope of tasks in the famous clause: Other/Various tasks as assigned by the AD (which is where about 90 percent of my actual work in my three-page job description lies).

So here is what I am doing. After I am done with my committee work for this year, I am done being on any CoSIDA committees. I will remain done until CoSIDA begins to advocate on our behalf. Starting a committee dedicated to our rights as humans and workers would be a nice step. That’s a committee I want in on, and will gladly sign-up for.

I know there are other factors at play as to why this isn’t a priority, and I know some of my fellow bloggers have been at this longer than me. Help me out, what are they?

No one besides us is going to stick up for us? I thank all of my fellow posters for giving us a voice.

Information Desk?

2006-01-31T10:51:00.000-05:00

Call this a spin-off post.

Former SID has inspired me with the following.

"4) We are not the person whom you call to ask when the pool is open. This is for you, people. Call the front desk. Or check the website."

Amen to that. I think some people take the "information" part a little too literally.

Not only am I not the person to answer that question, I'm also not the person to ask about:

- If you can buy a membership for our pool/fitness center/whatever and how much it costs.

- The cost/date/location of a youth sports camp/tournament that one of our coaches runs FOR A PROFIT. If I'm expected to answer these questions, then I expect to get paid extra, just like our coaches make extra money off these camps.

- What our coaches' phone numbers are. They are ALL on our web site. If you can find mine, then you can find theirs.

- Who won today's/yesterday's/last week's game. This is OK if you are media our another SID. Otherwise, wait a little bit and it'll be on our hotline (you obviously have a phone) or on our web site.

- When the last time we missed the conference/NCAA/whatever Playoffs in sport X was. This is geared to alumni. Don't call me to ask for information when your sole purpose for asking is to go post on some message board how Coach Winsomemore isn't getting the job done.

- When an intramural/club/wellness event is. I know some of you may be stuck dealing with a club or "varsity club" (whatever THAT means) sport, but we have a Wellness Director who has time to take those calls.

Here's what we are not

2006-01-31T00:40:00.000-05:00

Sports Information Directors are the media relations professionals who keep the various news organizations in touch with what is happening in the athletic department.

Here, however, is what we are not:

1) We are not your disc jockey. If you want music played between innings, get one of your JV players acquainted with the CD player. (In my day it was a tape deck, with the same damn six tapes. I saved Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days for the bottom of the ninth.) If the dance team needs something played so they can perform, they better have a coach or a friend who knows what track to play. We are not the person who lines up the National Anthem singer. Perhaps your team manager knows someone or one of your very helpful boosters can step up to the mic.

2) We are not your setup and teardown crew. If you need a scoreboard console set up, a public address system turned on, a tarp removed, that's what equipment managers, assistant coaches, work-study students, etc., are for.

3) We are not your sign-maker. Seriously, if I had 10 bucks for every time a coach asked me to make a sign to hang somewhere I would still be an SID, because I could afford to feed my family with it. That's fine if you don't know how to use InDesign or Quark, because that's understandable. But Word is pretty easy to master. I'm not your stat-fetcher either, but thankfully those are all available on the Net now. Guess that shows my age.

4) We are not the person whom you call to ask when the pool is open. This is for you, people. Call the front desk. Or check the website.

5) We are not your schedule-maker. I've never been asked to schedule games but some of my colleagues have. Ridiculous.

6) We are not an extra van driver on road trips. We are not going to warm up the pitcher or coach first base. We're not keeping the book for the baseball game (although maybe we should, because your players are the most biased scorekeepers I've seen).

However, on a nice day, I wouldn't mind playing first base in an intrasquad game, or shooting threes in a basketball drill if the coaches want to take on the players.

I've played in an alumni game. I've written Hall of Fame plaques. I've created websites from scratch for events nobody remembers.

But it's when I was asked repeatedly to do items 1, 2, 3, 4 and 6 that I got out of the business. After all, why work 60 hours a week when you can work 40 and get paid a reasonable salary?

Why aren't our scores in the (insert BIG DAILY newspaper here)?

2006-01-30T14:14:00.000-05:00

“Why aren’t our scores getting in the newspapers in Florida and Pennsylvania?”

“Why don’t the TV stations come to our games?”

“Why do men’s sports get more coverage than women’s sports?”

I’M SICK OF THESE QUESTIONS!

But I digress . . . back to that later.

First of all, I want to know why the disgruntled alumni and parents who ask the above questions don’t call me directly? Why the AD, public relations director, athletic fundraiser, etc.? I hate having to explain through a third party who then has to relay the information back to the person who is bitching. Sometimes I wouldn’t mind getting a phone call directly so that I can tell them my side of things.

Back to the above questions. We go through this every year at some point, especially with the God of all sports, basketball. And every year I try to explain to my coaches that as long as I’m doing my job – reporting results via any means necessary (email, faxing, phone calls), letting media know about upcoming games, following up on information that was sent to make sure it was received, etc. – that’s about all that can be done.

WE CAN’T TELL THE NEWSPAPERS, TV STATIONS, RADIO STATIONS WHAT TO COVER! Duh . . . And the Associated Press protocol is not that difficult to understand. They send the score out to all of their outlets. But it’s up to the individual newspaper what to print. Seems to me that a newspaper in Florida may not necessarily be interested in the score of a small college in Virginia.

It’s interesting – we’ve started to encourage our alumni to contact their newspapers directly to ask about our scores getting printed. And they’re finding out exactly what I have! Some papers just don’t care about Division III, and will not even print scores from non-Division I schools. So even if I’m sending them our results (which I’ll keep doing no matter what – I’m sure they love the paper trail of faxes and the endless emails – insert evil laugh here) – they’re not going in anyway!

I know some of this sounds defeatist and negative. We still need to do our jobs, part of which is sending out results to any and all media who MIGHT be interested. But people need to also TRUST that we’re doing our jobs (some of us have been in this biz for quite a while now) and quit questioning every single thing we do. Especially if they’ve never taken the time to actually learn about our profession and what it’s all about.

Oh and by the way, regarding results on the website. If I can only update our website from my office which is in a stupid location in our gym, the game is over at 8:45 and I have to make copies and distribute stats and also handle media interviews and clean up press row, most likely the score will not be on the website by 9:00! We don't all have great courtside technology that allows us to do everything instantly. People need to have PATIENCE!

Can't You See I'm Working?

2006-01-30T13:20:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you've all been down this road, mostly at basketball games:

You're busy wrapping up a game file, printing stats, etc., at your scorers' table. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a graying, middle-aged man (let's face it, it's always DAD) looming nearby.

You briefly shut your eyes and take a deep breath.

"Oh shit. If I ignore him, he'll go away. If I ignore him, he'll go away. If I ignore him, he'll go away. If I ignore him, he'll go away. "

But he doesn't go away.

It's Big Poppa Stat-Hound, the SID's worst post-game nightmare. He sidles up, trying to play it cool.

"Can you tell me how many points #23 had?"

Look. We get that you're #23's dad. Or, in rare instances, the father of the player who was guarding #23. Just save us both the embarassment and say so.

At any rate, I'd like to know why you can't just go home and look at the box score online, which I'll have on our web site within 20 MINUTES AFTER THE GAME ENDS.

I'm working. Please go away. Do I come to your job and and interrupt you to ask you what my aunt's taxes look like or how many support beams you're using in the latest building you're constructing?

Oh. You're also definitely NOT getting a copy of the stats when they print out. Don't stalk my work study kids when they're busy delivering them to coaches.

Scheduling issues -- overlaps, Sunday games, holiday tournaments, etc.

2006-01-27T08:30:00.000-05:00

OK, so I cannot complain too much about the transition from fall to winter sports, as our fall teams have not advanced to any NCAA play recently. I do wish we had more success in the fall, but whatever. And thank the Lord I don’t have two season-opening basketball tip-off tournaments. Four games in two days is enough – eight games in three days – major hoops overload, despite it being one of my favorite sports.

But this spring sports thing is getting ridiculous. Our baseball season begins FEBRUARY 5TH – at home, of course. And of course we have a home basketball game that day. And of course our students are just returning from a break that day, so I have to pull people off the streets to help with the games.

I know that there are some conferences out there that forbid spring contests from starting until March. Same thing with winter sports (i.e. swimming) – nothing until November. Of course, if you have really good basketball, you’ll still have an overlap with NCAAs. But baseball FEBRUARY 5TH – closely followed by the beginning of softball, lacrosse, tennis, and don’t forget golf – is nuts.

Speaking of schedules – what is up with SUNDAY GAMES? At the previous school I worked at, we did not have as many Sunday events as at my current school. And it seems that every year it just gets worse. I’ve already done the math on my spring (and still WINTER) schedule – beginning Feb. 18-19 and going THROUGH April 1-2 – we have SEVEN STRAIGHT WEEKENDS with home games for “major sports” (not including tennis) both Saturday AND Sunday. Am I then expected to work a five-day 9-to-5 week PLUS weekdat afternoon games when I am in the office until 9:00 or 10:00 finishing stats, writing stories, sending out results, updating websites, etc.? I NEED TIME TO DO LAUNDRY AND PAY BILLS!

Maybe you’ve figured out this is a one-person sports information office. No intern, no coach helping in the off-season, etc. etc. God bless students, but it seems to me that a.) they’re REALLY BUSY and b.) sometimes they are not reliable. Not trying to stereotype here – I said “sometimes”. But I feel that when we have games, I must be on campus to oversee things, even when students are working games.

Add to all of this that we don’t really have a “scheduling coordinator” at our school. Coaches make their own schedules and there isn’t really a watchdog. That could mean FOUR HOME GAMES IN ONE DAY. The only real “rule” we have is when we have a home football game, other sports must start their games at 11:00 or 3:00.

And by the way, I’m also sick of having to cut my Christmas vacation short every year for holiday basketball tournaments that nobody comes to because students are on break and local fans are enjoying time with their families. Can’t we do it every other year maybe? In fact, this year we had a pre-holiday tournament, again after our students had already left. Just not a great scheduling move. Of course, be careful what you wish for – no holiday tournaments could mean the dreaded double tip-off tournaments. So I’ll stop there.

STOP THE MADNESS! I wish I could do all of the schedules! We’d never have more than two major sports playing at home on the same day fall and winter, and the overlap would be drastically reduced.

Plus, would that mean a PAY RAISE?

Thanks for your support.

Pocket Schedule Blues

2006-01-26T15:08:00.000-05:00

This is going to hurt.

Today, I tackle the spring pocket schedule. A composite of dates and times sure to be at least partially incorrect by the first date listed. A spring schedule and grass fields in the mid-atlantic region, what could possibly go wrong?

I go through this three times a year. Fall. Winter. Spring.

I throw in the sports, then send it off to the printer with a clever disclaimer about dates and times being subject to change. I even offer several alternatives as to where to find up to the very last second schedules in several locations.

And the phone call or the email invaribly comes after the first make-up game.

“My niece's softball team played so-and-so yesterday, and I missed it because it was not on my pocket schedule,” the conversation will start.

“Yes, ma’am,” I’ll reply masking my contempt. “That was a make-up game from the double-header rained out last week. On your schedule, there are alternative options for more current schedules.”

“Well, I didn’t see them…” she’ll counter.

And we’re off.

So, to you Aunt X, and all of the people of your ilk, I offer this special disclaimer on the bottom of the schedule:

Dates and times are subject to change... without me personally calling you, emailing you, IMing you, sending you smoke signals, or engaging in any other un-enumerated acts of interpersonal communication. There is a phone number and a web site prominently listed here and several other places informing you where to locate a schedule with changes due to weather, field availability, conflicts of a religious nature, terrorist attacks, or any other act of God or fucking man that was not foreseen when the original contract was drawn or schedule was printed.

If you are too old to know how to use the Internet, and still have the pulse technology phone because you are too old for touch-tone, please die so that the monthly raping I enjoy in the social security box of my pay stub may one day bear fruit for me. By the way, if you enjoy a large amount of wealth, please leave a good portion of it earmarked to this institution’s sports information office that I may hire a qualified assistant. I hate to bitch, but my experiments in growing an arm out of my ass have all been tremendous failures, and I have to mention, the results have been quite uncomfortable.

Understand that by having read the first seven words of this disclaimer, I remove myself from any responsibility for you driving somewhere on the wrong date and time. Also understand that when you contact me, you are the idiot AND the asshole.

Oh, you’re a tree murdering douchebag too. Make sure you recycle it it when you're through.